Dear Me,

   I should be writing about Shakespeare.  Instead, I'm sitting here in the unbearable heat,unmotivated as fuck!
I live in a country that is cold eight months out of the year.  I shouldn't be complaining, but Jesus, I'm never going to get anything done at this rate.  It's just so frustrating.
Plus the fact that everything seems to be happening at once financially.  First it's rent.  Then it's the fucking car and insurance and registration.  Bills.  FUCK!!
Is it no wonder I'm feeling anxiety and depression?
I would say moving out was a bad idea, except for the fact that I'm out of my parent's house which is a win.  I just wish things would stop for a little while, you know?
The SOs son is here too.  This adds to my anxiety level ten fold because I don't know what to do with him while the SO is at work.  I think I might take the kitty and go to Mom and Dad's house Saturday and do some laundry, and maybe stay overnight.
Don't get me wrong, I like SO jr.  I just can't be around him more than a few days at a time.  He makes me feel like I've been rubbed raw on the inside.
It doesn't help that all he does is laze around the house all day while his father waits on him hand and foot.  I mean, the kid is fifteen years old.  I'm pretty sure he can make his own toast.
And to add to the misery, I couldn't get my kitten because we're broke.  I don't know if I want to get another cat though.  I like the one we have now.  I like pouring attention on him and I haven't gotten half the shit I wanted to get him.  At the same time, getting him a little buddy might be the best thing I could get him?
I don't know.
I want to do the right thing both fiscally and emotionally.
I want to be able to afford both of them in the long term, not just "for now".  I've already faltered with Kitty #1 with his vet thing and I can't do that with a little kitten.  I have to be on the ball with vaccines.  I have to be prepare little man for a new adopted sibling, a sibling he may not even want!
My thoughts on it are that I would like to pay off my debts before I get another kitty.  But the SO thinks we should get the baby while Kitty #1 is still fairly young (under a year).
I honestly don't know what to do, but thank goodness for this blog.  *sigh*
Life goes on.